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I signed up for a triathlon.

            Running buddy and I spend a lot of time talking about which races to run. Every so often one of us will joke about doing a triathlon. It’s the kind of joking, however, that you use to test out someone’s interest in a given activity: wouldn’t it be hilarious to get drunk and run naked through town OR don't you think feet are super sexy—just kidding—that kind of thing. At some point the “haha, imagine doing a triathlon” became a more serious topic of conversation. We started exchanging links about marathon training, and then running buddy sent me a link to a sprint triathlon about an hour away. It was listed as a beginner event and was close enough to travel to easily. The timing was good—no travel plans on my and the wife’s schedule, and far enough in the future to have just enough time to barely prepare before coming to my senses.

            So, I signed up. And I am two-thirds SUPER EXCITED! A triathlon, just in case you didn’t know, is comprised of three parts: swim (usually in open water), bike, and run. This particular one is the shortest standard distance: a sprint. The swim is 325 yards, the bike ride is 11.5 miles, and the run is just over 3 miles (basically a 5k). I am two-thirds excited because I actually think it sounds like fun to bike and run back to back. The problem is the swimming. Turns out, I don’t swim well. I mean, I don’t drown and I can propel myself through the water a bit, but I am slow. And have terrible form. And can’t figure out how to breathe without hyperventilating or swallowing a ton of water. Running buddy and I went swimming and she would give me a half a pool length head start and still pass me before I could struggle my way to the end of the pool. I am pretty sure she had some sort of portable marine engine aiding her. So, yeah, two-thirds excited.

            Because I tend to be a bit of a task master I knew, as soon as I mentally committed, that I needed to do something about my terrible swimming. To that end I went to the local sporting goods store and purchased goggles and a swim cap. I believe in the ancient philosophy of fake it until you make it so it is critical to look the part of a swimmer, even if I cannot actually swim. Somehow, fancy goggles and a swim cap will help me perform better—or at least not get me laughed out of the pool. I also signed up for two months of membership at the YMCA so that I would have easy access to a pool. 

I set my alarm for 5:30am and dragged myself from bed to go swim. I am sure I looked a mess as I walked into the pool area—so much for fake it until you make it. There were already several serious swimmers in the pool. I had decent goggles and a good swim cap but a two piece, tankini-style suit on. I am sure my face had a bewildered look. I kicked off my shoes and put down my towel and got in. I decided to do the triathlon swim distance and time myself to have a baseline. I huffed and puffed and looked like a complete idiot trying to figure out how to breathe and swim and only taking 10 crawl strokes before gasping and reverting to a modified doggie paddle (a patented, Diana-original stroke). It took me about 14 minutes. I don’t really have much of a frame of reference for how long it takes to swim 325 yards, but my obsessive Googling seems to indicate that 14 minutes is a long time. I worked on figuring out how to breathe, and more than once I got caught staring at other swimmers, trying to copy them.

On a positive note, my general level of cardiovascular fitness does seem to translate into the pool. I swam for 30 minutes that first morning and felt refreshed, not exhausted, when I was finished. Also, I wasn’t sore, so I think this indicates a certain level of fitness. All in all a pretty good outing. I have a tendency to look on the bright side.

            I went swimming again. That 5:30am alarm clock shocked me from my peaceful sleep. This time, at least, I knew where the locker room and the pool was located. My swimsuit had even dried completely since the other day, so I didn’t have to shimmy into wet spandex. I felt a bit more confident as I got into the pool. I actually warmed up a bit and did some practice laps, working some more on breathing and timing. This time, I managed to swim the 325 yards in 9 minutes. This was a HUGE improvement. I still couldn’t swim the whole thing using a crawl stroke and I definitely choked on some water a few times, but still—a 5 minute improvement! Now, my instinct is that I probably won’t get a whole lot faster in the next few weeks before the tri and that I will be much slower in open water, but at least this was more respectable and I wasn’t completely embarrassed by my terrible swimming.

            So, I have completed the first of 6 weeks of triathlon training. Two swims, two bikes, three runs, and a softball game keeps a girl busy. But damn, I feel pretty freakin’ cool. And isn’t that what it is all about?!

           

           

Also, while you are at it, consider voting for me to help get me on the cover of Runner’s World magazine (not to mention win a bunch of free swag). You can vote once a day and all you need to do is follow the link and click the VOTE button. No need to enter your information, just click continue and you are all done. Thanks!!

Here’s the link
http://coversearch.runnersworld.com/entry/317/jk60xsmx1bd9skx7hi