My First Official Race Report or A List of Places You Do NOT Want Mud

Warrior Dash, Warwick, NY, 2016

           Months ago—I think it was October of 2015, in fact—I sent out a Facebook message to a bunch of friends asking if anyone was interested in doing a Warrior Dash with me. After a few weeks of back and forth I had a team of six (including myself) ready to go! I signed us up using the black Friday promotion and then promptly forgot about it…the race was six months away, after all.

            Fast forward to April and I realize it is time to start thinking about the WD and making plans. The six of us had an intense conversation/debate about our team t-shirts—arguably the most important part of any team race! Eventually we settled on a name and design: the Mad Mudders!

The finished Mad Mudders t-shirt!

            A few weeks out from the race one of our teammates had to bow out—a nagging back injury made it impossible to compete. Thankfully, a friend of mine was able to step in and cover! We still had six and we went about making travel arrangements for the big day.

            The morning of the race we all met at my house at 7:30 and hit the road. You could feel the excitement in the car. It was a long drive—about two and a half hours—and we pulled into a gas station about 20 minutes from the race. We all had our needs to fill: coffee, the bathroom, a granola bar, and five minutes of stretching.

Gas Station Selfie.

            We continued toward the race and followed winding roads out to a rural school. The parking was a little insane, but an awesome red headed kid kept us entertained as he danced and directed traffic. We all grabbed our stuff and headed for the shuttle. A quick 5 minute shuttle ride and we were on the camp grounds, headed to go check in.

My Awesome Team!

We were all dancing and laughing with nervous energy. There were hundreds of people milling about and they all seemed to feel the same! We walked past the showers as we headed up the hill toward check in. We entered a clearing and found hundreds of more people and many big tents set up. We found the registration center and picked up our packets. After pinning on our numbers we took some group shots:

The whole team, ready to rock!

Just the old ladies this time!

            After our photo op we checked our bags, peed, and got into the starting corral. Light rock and retro pop hip hop blared through a bank of speakers. We stretched and tried to warm up and danced a bit. The MC cracked jokes and revved up the crowd. The 10-second countdown began and then the horn sounded and the flames came shooting out of the start line grandstand. We took off at a sprint and hit the course! Just kidding—we were at the back of a line of 200 or so people. We actually walk/hop/danced our way slowly toward the starting line. As we approached the MC he laughed and yelled, “Yeah, Mad Mudders!” We were super psyched to get a shout out over the loud speakers!

            We finally got through the start line and hit the trail. It was narrow and still slow-going but as we came down the first hill we managed to speed up to a jog. This was my first experience with trail running so I was trying to be super careful. We crossed a small stream at the bottom of the hill then began climbing toward the first obstacle. There was a mud pit and some barbed wire you had to crawl under—the race had really begun!

            After negotiating the first obstacle we kept up a slow run through the narrow wooded trail. We then came out of the woods and hit a field. The uneven surface was surprisingly tougher to navigate than the rocky and rooty trail through the woods. After a gradual climb we hit another obstacle—rings suspended over a cargo net. We regrouped and hit the obstacle. I watched two people in front of me fall awkwardly and land on the cargo net. I grabbed the first ring and thought I might be able to reach and half walk/half ring across the net. Unfortunately, everything was wet and slippery and the ring was just out of reach. I decided to bail on the rings and climb across the cargo net instead. It wasn’t fancy, but it worked! I got to the other side and helped cheer on the rest of the team.

            Some more wooded trail opened into another field where the next obstacle awaited us. Half of the Mad Mudders hit the water tent, and then we started to navigate the balance beams suspended over a wet, muddy pit. Of course there were hoses spraying water at your legs and feet—and up all of our shorts (there might have been a number of off-color jokes about the cleansing the hoses offered)! We all got over this obstacle and took off toward the next.

            I might be missing an obstacle or two, but the next really memorable challenge were the mud humps. There were three humps about 10 feet tall flanked on both sides by 4 feet of muddy water. You had to run through the water and then climb the mud hump, then come back down into the next pool of mud, and up the next hump. I had no problem getting up the first hump, but as I came down the back I caught my foot and awkwardly slid on my shins. I managed to keep my feet as I hit the next pool of water, but one of my teammates tripped and bumped into me, knocking me into the water. I was covered in mud and we were both laughing. The next two humps were a little easier, but still super awkward. We finally got through the obstacle and we were all covered to our chests in yellow-brown mud. Several of us were bleeding—myself included. There was also a really surprising amount of mud trapped in our respective undergarments: it wasn't the most comfortable feeling, for sure!

            But we were all still laughing and smiling. We headed back into the woods—sloshing and squishing and dripping. There was a small stream so we could all wash off just a little. We came out of the woods and navigated a few more obstacles in open fields. There was this crazy, 14’ tall structure made out of 2x4s that I hated. Climbing up was okay, but the top is just 2x4s that allow you to look down to the ground as you climb over. I was not loving it at all. Thankfully, however, I made it over when some nice folks cheered for me when I froze up a bit while transitioning to climbing down. 

A group shot after we navigated an obstacle.

For a while I took off with a few members of our team and really got to run. We ran hard through one of the fields and then got to fly down a hill on one of the wooded trails. Since I have been resting and healing I haven’t really gotten to run hard for the last 4-5 weeks. It felt amazing to open it up for a few minutes and get my heartbeat up. Eventually we came to another stream, washed up some more, and waited for the rest of our team to catch up.

At one of the later obstacles we picked up a new teammate. Her husband had taken off and she was struggling. We helped her through the obstacle and ran the rest of the way together. It was an awesome moment of bonding and teamwork! 

In what is quite possibly the best photo op ever, there was a pit of fire that you got to jump over with a professional photographer on the other side. These were some of the absolute best shots from out on the course:

L to R: Me, Meghan, Bridget, and Amanda.

L to R: Renee, Pathy, and our new friend.

 

We came into the home stretch together and entered into a chest-deep pool of water. The barbed wire that was strung over the obstacle was obscured by a plastic flag ribbon. My teammate went head first into the barbed wire and got a pretty nasty cut:

            Thankfully she was okay and also managed to stop me from doing the same just in time! We came to the last obstacle and were half disappointed/half relieved to find that the Goliath, as it is called, was closed. We splashed into one last pool of water and were rewarded with our medals as we crossed the finish line!

            We were all elated! The course was fun and exciting and we had a great time working together and individually to navigate it. We, of course, started to take some pictures:

            We then headed to change at which point I discovered that I had forgotten shorts. I actually walked around in my underpants until I could get to the merchandise tent and buy a new pair:

My underpants.

            Next it was time for food and free beers. The lines were ridiculous, and that was definitely the worst part. But we got our beers, and thanks to the determination of half the team, even got some burgers (veggie for me, of course)!

            Here are the last few pictures we took as we headed out after the race:

You couldn't take beer past a certain point.

Me and Running Buddy.

Chuckie says I look like a special unicorn.

I am the same person...kind of.

            As you probably already know, I have been nursing a strained tendon and not running for the last few weeks. I have been biking, using the elliptical and rower, and weight lifting, but I haven’t been able to run. My hope was that some time off would allow my tendon to heal and that I might be ready in time for a challenging half marathon in mid-June.

            I stopped running and was really bummed out. How on earth was I going to stay in shape? But a week after stopping I lost 4 pounds. A week later…another 4. This has softened the blow of not running a bit, to be honest. Losing weight while training for a half marathon is not easy. Runger is real, my friends!

Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time thinking and talking—and ruminating and obsessing—about weight and fitness and health. Running buddy and I were messaging about working out and talking about our respective weight loss. We were generally discussing the weirdness of losing a lot of weight: people you have known for a long time not recognizing you; navigating the awkwardness of odd but well-meaning compliments; how it sucks to be cold all of the time and to not be able to drink more than one beer without getting a serious buzz; and how it’s awesome and frustrating to constantly have to buy new clothes. Regarding my transformation she said, “I adored you then and I adore you now.” Which is super sweet and actually made me just a tad misty.

This statement got me thinking. What does it mean to lose so much weight? What is the connection between your physical body and your inner self? Do you change in some meaningful way beyond just weighing less and having less fat? Has getting into good cardiovascular shape changed my personality? Has losing 75 pounds made me smarter? Or dumber, for that matter? Have I become more kind? Less?

            Of course, I am the SAME person! Kind of.

            I definitely have become vainer. I care what I look like when I leave the house. I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror. I have started this habit of flexing in the mirror just to see how my biceps and triceps are developing. I have—semi-jokingly—suggested that my wife “hang from my biceps” while flexing. I post my running on social media. I humble brag about my fitness. I told my best friend that, “No, I will not wear a white shirt to your wedding because I look fierce in the outfit I picked out!” I have actually gotten up and walked across a room in front of people I haven’t seen in a while just to show off how thin I have gotten. I am not kidding. Sometimes, I feel like I barely recognize myself. Could it be that the lack of vanity I once attributed to my somehow being a superior brand of person was actually just a crushing lack of self-esteem?!?!

            As happens—because of Murphy, or a mischievous deity, or just plain old confirmation bias—I scheduled my oil change for the same day Wife needed to be on campus early and our neighbor needed a ride to work. I ran ahead and dropped off my car at the shop and waited to be picked up. Wife and neighbor pulled in and I jumped into the back seat.

            “Holy crap! You look amazing!” neighbor exclaimed.

            “Thank you,” I blushed in reply.

            “Seriously! It’s not even that your body has changed—which it has—it’s that you even carry yourself differently.”

            I am sure I made a self-deprecating reply, as I am prone to do. But here was more evidence of the change—the transformation—that was taking place. It’s not just that I look different, but that I carry myself differently: I act differently in some discernable way.

            Dissatisfying as it is, I haven’t arrived at any answers. No epiphanies have hit me in the middle of the night. I haven’t seen the light or heard a disembodied voice give me words of wisdom. Sometimes I think I should stop obsessing about existential matters and other times it seems really important to get to the TRUTH OF IT ALL. I just keep alternating between chewing on what it means to be me and how things change to staying in the moment and just plain having fun.

           

            FUN! I have managed to have quite a bit of it lately.

            First, I went out and supported my running buddy at the 10k we were supposed to run together. The down side was not getting to run. 

Renee, looking fly and ready to run!

The upside was hitting the samples at the Cider Mill where the run was held with running buddy’s very cool kid. We tasted salsa, hot sauce, apples, vodka, and fudge while those suckers ran 6.2 miles of hills in the cold. We also fed the ducks and had apple cider donut(s) and cider by the pond. Not a bad way to spend a morning!

Donuts and Cider...poundsign winning

            Wife and I also managed to get outside and get some yard work done. The gardens are mostly planted, and our new screened in gazebo has been built. We even assembled the excellent outside couch and have been spending warm evenings drinking cocktails outside. 

The gazebo (center), the new flower pot garden (left), and the veggies (just barely visible to the right)

            I also got to go see my very best friend get married to an amazing man. This wedding was absolutely glamorous and we had a grand time dressing up and attending all of the wedding-related events. A wedding at a church overlooking Central Park is absolutely amazing, by the way!

Headed to the rehearsal dinner

The view from our hotel the morning of the wedding.

Me with my bestie

            I have also gotten cleared by the orthopedist to start back with some slow running. AND I got the go ahead to participate in my first ever mud run—the Warrior Dash! (The bad news is that the half marathon is a no go, but I am setting my sights on one in October...I will get there). It was a great time and I had amazing teammates to run and laugh and splash through the mud with. Stay tuned for a quick race report!

First slow, short run back

Me, after the Warrior Dash

With the team

            I also joined a women’s softball team and played my first game since high school—18 years if you are keeping score. I went 3 for 4 and hit a triple. We won. It was pretty freakin’ cool.

I also chopped off my hair and dyed it blue

            Anyway, the early summer has gotten off to a good start.